Love is a nightmare
by WordsInTheRain
Summary: Jaspenor angsty-multichap fic, set after the season 2 finale. Jasper is gone, and Eleanor's mind is playing tricks on her. She realizes that her problems aren't going to be solved just by him leaving her life, quite the opposite. A story about how they influence each other as people and how they manage to help one another fight their inner demons in order to make it work again.
1. Chapter 1

**A/N: Hey there, so here is my second Jaspenor fic, this time it isn't one-shot but a multichapter and the timeline of this story is set little after the season 2 finale.**

 **Eleanor told Jasper to leave, and he did. She hasn't heard from him since. This fic is a bit angsty, and it deals with the inner struggles that Eleanor is going through and the influence that Jasper has over her. Both characters are explored individually and as a couple, because they have their own insecurities and demons they have to fight in order to make things work as the fate intervenes once again.**

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"He never loved you, he never cared. He used you, just like I did. Why would anyone love you? They pretend to care just because of your title, without it, you would be nobody."

"Stop it, Mandy!" Eleanor screamed. "You are lying, he came back!"

"So, where is he now? Now? Now? Now? Her voice echoed.

Eleanor sat on her bed; she had just woken up from another nightmare.

She ran her hands over her face, breathing heavily, covered in sweat.

She was alone. She had no one to calm her down.

He wasn't there, standing outside her door. No, he left, he was gone, just like she asked him to. He didn't call. He didn't write. He wasn't there in the crowed nightclubs looking after her. He didn't stalk her in the midnight hours when she walked through the Paris streets alone. He wasn't there to support her. He wasn't there to hurt her. He was God knows where doing God knows what.

She thought that when he leaves, it will clear her mind. She will be able to let go. To forget. But ironically, since he left, he's been the only thing on her mind. It was even worse than before. His cold blue eyes haunting her every time she closed hers. No amount of booze, drugs or boys could erase his face from her memory.

 _It is going to take some time. I will forget soon. I will get over him someday_. Those were the lies she told herself when the emptiness became unbearable. Every night a different nightmare, leaving her devastated.

"Len?" Liam's voice was clear and concerned.

"What?"

" I just came to say goodbye, I couldn't leave knowing that you are still in this state. Are you sure you don't want to come to Monaco with me?".

" I don't know what you are talking about, and no thanks, I'm not really in a mood for that."

"Come on Lenny, we both know what is going on here."

Eleanor refused to look in his eyes because she felt her own tearing up.

"You miss him."

"Miss whom?"

Liam was just about to open his mouth when Eleanor interrupted him.

"Don't you dare say his name!"

"Okay, but you should know, what he told me before he left."

He saw that he caught Eleanor's attention.

"I asked him why he was leaving, and he told me that for the first time he is actually doing what you wish. I didn't understand why he would leave without a fight. He said that being with you was the best time of his life and also the worst. He never felt so happy yet so devastated before. That his feelings mean apparently nothing to you and he is done hurting you. That you deserve someone better anyways.

She was silent so he continued.

He said that sometimes we have to do what is best for those we love, even if it sucks for us. Just like I sacrificed myself for Ophelia... and I understood.

She almost shivered at the word love.

 _Was it even possible that Jasper Frost was in love with her?_

Tears raced down Eleanor's face uncontrollably.

"I know that he hurt you and lied to you, but you changed him, you made him a better man for sure. And something tells me that his feelings don't mean nothing to you."

"It's harder than I thought," she managed to reply.

"Can I ask you something Lenny?"

She nodded.

"Don't you regret telling him to go?"

"It doesn't make sense, I shouldn't, but I do."

"Remember what Robert used to say?"

Eleanor smiled.

"Math and love never make sense."

"He was so drunk when he said that," she laughed at the memory of her brother.

"It doesn't make it less true. What do you have to lose? Just give it a shot, you deserve to be happy."

"I don't even know where he is."

"Luckily for you, I do."

Eleanor's eyes sparkled.

"Jasper said that he will go back to America when he has enough of money to start over. I know where he works now."

"He's still in the UK?"

"Very much."

"Here is the address, do what you want with it."

He took out a little piece of paper out of his jean pocket. Then kissed her on her forehead.

"I will call you when I land."

He was almost gone when she told him to stop.

"Liam, thank you."

"I am always there looking out for you Len. And I like Jasper, he might be a little complicated but that is something that you both share," He smirked.

"Hey!" Eleanor threw a pillow at him but she missed, and as he was leaving she could still hear his laughter from the hall.

Eleanor stared blankly at the address.

She took a quick shower, did her hair and makeup, and wore her new **black** dress.

"James?"

"Yes, your highness?"

"I need to take care of something, by myself. Please, could you stay in the car?"

Her pleading eyes worked on him.

"Okay, Princess, ill wait here. In case of an emergency...

Foxie, I've had bodyguards since I can remember, I know how this works.

She got out of the car and entered the casino.

 _How creative_ , she thought.

But then it hit her. _Why was she even there?_ She didn't even know what she would say if she saw him. _This was a bad idea._ Why did she feel the need to run to him when she found out that he was still in the city? Liam's words echoed in her mind. _His love doesn't mean anything to you_...

She was the one who sent him away. Pushed him away. Her mind was telling her that he was not to be trusted. And yet there she was, all dressed up.

"Len! What are you doing here?" Ashok greeted her.

"Oh, um nothing, I just feel very lucky today. I thought I could use that here."

"Why don't you join us?"

And then she saw him. Suit and tie, just like she remembered him. But instead of his usual controlling, arrogant look he looked rather paralyzed as their eyes met. He whispered something to the other security guy and walked away.

"Uh... I have to go freshen up, be right back", Eleanor said and went Jaspers direction.

He didn't see her, so she followed him. He was heading to the back doors of the casino, she was hiding behind the corner and when she heard the door slam she knew that space was clear.

She stood there for a while, then took a deep breath and opened the door. He was sitting on the stairs.

"Running away from the princess, bodyguard?

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 **A/N: Thanks for reading the first chapter, it means a lot! Now, this one wasn't very thrilling... but you know that things get crazy once jaspenor reunites ;) I hope you liked it, and id love to hear your opinions :)**


	2. CH2 Three bloody words

**A/N: Hi! First of all, I'm so grateful for each and every review, follow and fav (and for the love of my "Head or Heart" fic). It really means a lot.**

 **You guys are the best!** ❤❤❤

 **Now, this chapter originally didn't have this brief look into how Jasper got his new job after leaving his love and his old job behind the gates of the palace, but after reading your comments, I realized that it should. So, don't hesitate to write your opinions, they help to make the story and the characters more profound.**

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* * * * * JASPER * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

Some days are more insufferable than others since Jasper left the palace, all of them were.

 _Without_ the royal family in his life, he had nothing to keep up with, no drama, no rush, and no mysteries. Sure, there were still some articles about their scandals and intrigues in the newspaper, but that could never compare to witnessing them first hand, to be on the inside.

 _Without_ Liam and Mr. Hill he had no friends to talk to.

 _Without_ Eleanor in his life, he had no one to protect, no one to make an effort for, no reason to leave the bed in the morning.

He tried to keep track of her, but she's been very silent on the social media. There have been some tweets now and then, but Jasper could swear that it was more likely Rachel who wrote them, and not her. They lacked...well, the whole Eleanorness.

The last picture she posted on her Instagram was almost four weeks old, which was highly unusual for her, and it was a picture of a book, which was even more unusual. He was a bit worried about her.

If Jasper wasn't running low on funds, he'd be probably still drowning himself in his sorrow and bottles of cheap liquor while binge-watching anything, just to keep his mind occupied.

He really needed to do something; his life was lacking purpose once again. He didn't want to go back to the life he used to lead but had no idea what to do next.

That changed when he ended up sitting at a casino, drinking like there's no tomorrow to take advantage of the happy hour, and saw the " **security wanted** " sign at the bar.

"You're hiring?" he asked, as he pushed the empty glass towards the man standing in front of him.

"It depends… you think you're qualified enough? " answered the guy behind the counter, while pouring him another drink.

Jasper could sense the tone of incredulity, and realized, that this guy must see him just as a drunk, so he fished in his pocket for his phone.

"I would say so," Jasper said, as he held it in front of his face.

The bartender just whistled and his eyes widened. "If this isn't photoshopped, I'd say the job is yours."

Jasper took a long look at the screen and although he felt pretty numb already, his chest got very heavy within a second, he ignored the questions from the curious bartender, just stared blankly at the picture of him standing behind Her Royal Highness Princess Eleanor… _his Eleanor_.

* * * * * ELEANOR * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

 **"Running away from the princess, bodyguard?"**

Every fiber of her body was on fire. She didn't know how she pulled off to speak so confidently.

He turned around shocked, and when his eyes met hers she saw how terrified he was.

He looked at the ground and when he looked back; his eyes were empty and cold.

"Yeah, I heard she can be a real bitch sometimes," he tried to sound aloof, but there was an obvious presence of hurt in his tone.

She understood now, that whenever he used this mean, controlling tone, he was actually the most insecure.

"Very funny, Jasper."

"What are you doing here?"

" I guess I could ask you the same question. Why are you still in London?"

" I needed some money.."

"Oh stop it, you know, Liam maybe bought it, but you won't fool me. I know you had enough money to leave."

"Something just keeps me here. I've tried to leave but…and besides you told me to leave the palace, not the country."

 _What was she even doing? Why were they arguing? Oh god, she was screwing it up already._

She just wanted to skip forward to a part where she could jump into his arms. She's missed him so much, more than she was even able to admit to herself.

"I think you should go."

"You don't order me around I order you around, remember?"

"Not anymore princess, not anymore."

She was hoping he couldn't see how she tried her best to avoid the tears.

Little did she know, he was trying to do the same.

The silence was growing louder with each second.

 _What do people in those pathetic movies always say?_

 _**I miss you?** No, I'm_ _not that weak._

 _And of course, If I said the old cheesy **I love you** and gave us yet another chance right away, I'd be the biggest fool there ever was._

 _Or maybe, **I need you?** Sure, that could make "our pain fade away"... but as if I was ever going to admit it. _

_Urgh, why is it so hard to say one of these three bloody words?_ _Or anything at all, at this point?_

 _I should have thought this through_.

"I have to go back to work, if you excuse me, Your Highness."

 _Oh, quick Len, say anything, she thought._

"Did you miss me, Jasper?" Eleanor blurted out without thinking.

He stopped, exhaled and when he turned around, his eyes stabbed her like a knife.

"What the hell Eleanor, why are you doing this to me? Why are you here?" He practically yelled at her at this point.

"Just answer my question."

"Well, that's a very fucking stupid question, and you know the answer already, why are you here?" Jasper said, sounding even more frustrated.

Eleanor stood there speechless, after a while, she replied: "Maybe, I just wanted to see you."

He scoffed angrily after hearing his own words from her and Eleanor's smirk faded.

"Look, if you need some closure or whatever...I"-

Eleanor interrupted him: "No," she mumbled, unable to look at him.

She squeezed her eyes shut and continued.

"Look, I know that I was the one who told you to go, I knew you were trying, but you hurt me and betrayed me, left a hole inside of me… and I thought that if you leave it will get better, but it only keeps growing. I guess it was just easier to blame all my problems on you. I don't even know why I am telling you this… This was a bad idea."

"Do you know how fucking miserable that makes me feel? How I hate myself for doing that to you? My life was a frickin' black hole and you were the only light, and I blew it. I am used to living this empty life full of regrets. But I lie awake at nights knowing, that you are hurting because of the damage that I've done… and I cannot make it right. Because no amount of apologies will fix that and it's making me crazy.

"If you really mean that, why don't you –"

"Frost! The door flew open. "What the hell do you think you are doing here? There's a fight at table 7, and you are here chatting with some girl? I want to see your arse back in there now, otherwise, you are fired!"

"Well, not just any girl." Eleanor turned around. "Do you even know who you are talking to?"

"Your Highness… I'm so sorry. I "

"Enough, Mr. Frost isn't going anywhere, or… in fact he is. Consider him gone, he's quitting. That's it, off you go."

Eleanor gestured with her hand and the man just nodded and disappeared.

"What the hell Eleanor? What the fuck you think you are doing?"

"I'm an effing princess and as far as I am concerned I can do pretty much anything I please. You are going with me now! I decided to accompany my brother to Monaco. Unfortunately, my security detail is ill, she lied. And the others are incompetent, so consider yourself rehired."

"So, that's why you're here… and what if I say no?"

This was something Eleanor didn't see coming.

"Why would you possibly say that?"

"Simply, because I don't want to stand behind your door, while you fuck some random jerks from Monaco."

"You are impossible, screw you, Jasper!" She yelled at him angrily.

She took out her phone.

"James? I'm behind the casino, pick me up."

"I thought you said that he was sick."

"And I thought you said that you felt miserable for hurting me, but that was a lie as well, right?"

"Len, don't –"

The car came, Mr. Hill got out and opened the door for her.

Jasper couldn't let her leave like this. He jumped into the car, leaving Eleanor surprised.

"Why did you make that story up? Did you want me to go to Monaco with you, and punish me by messing around with other people in front of me?"

"Are you really that stupid? Of course not!"

"Then why?"

"Because" She blurted out and immediately regretted it.

A huge grin appeared on his face.

"Stop with that arrogant, smug, look on your face, you know how I hate it."

"So, the princess missed me as well, huh?

His confidence was back.

Eleanor packed the sexiest underwear she had and wore a low cut black blouse and a leather mini skirt that was hardly covering anything. She made some touches on her makeup, sprayed herself with his favorite perfume, and hoped he wouldn't see that she's trying too hard.

When she got out of the palace he was leaning on the car, chewing on a gum. She knew he was checking her out, and thought _mission accomplished_.

"Stop drooling, bodyguard. We have a plane to catch."

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 **A/N: Thanks for reading chapter two! (there are parts I'm not exactly happy with, but I just left it as it is, hah) But,** **let me tell you... the next chapter is going to be very exciting. Can't wait to share it with you.**

 **What do you think of** **Jaspenor** ' **s** **reunion and this chapter? Also, how do you like the new season of The Royals so far?**

 **And of course, in case you have any questions for me, I will** **gladly answer them! :)**


	3. CH3 Where the skies aren't blue

**A/N: Hey there! I'm back with a slightly longer chapter 3! Thanks for all the support, it makes me very happy when I read your feedback. I'm so glad you like the story so far, and that there are still people who love Jaspenor. ❤❤❤ This chap is a bit intense and angsty, sooo have fun... i guess :D**

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Shortly before the plane took off, she texted Liam she's coming. He was more than happy to hear the news. She was filled with a hopeful feeling that everything's going to be great when she heard a giggle.

 _Oh no, she didn't_.

Her body was instantly filled with jealousy.

Eleanor saw the flight attendant flirting with Jasper. She was a cute, young, petite blonde and _she was about to die_.

Eleanor unbuckled her seat belt and walked over there.

"Excuse me, but this is _my_ bodyguard, and fucking horny flight attendants isn't as far as I'm concerned his job description. Well, as long as I don't command him to, and I can't imagine a scenario like that. So you and your wet vagina can leave now. Off you go. "

The flight attendant looked angry and embarrassed at the same time and left abruptly without a word.

Eleanor made herself comfortable in the seat in front of Jasper.

"Somebody's jealous much?" He smirked.

"Please, Jasper, on your days off you can stick it even inside of a milk carton, and I couldn't care less. But now you're working, and you'll do just what I allow you to."

"C'mon Eleanor."

The way he said her name made her shiver.

"You already have a bodyguard; we both know that that's not the reason why I'm here."

 _Shit, he knows, Eleanor thought. If only Sara Alice was here, shed keep him occupied and annoy him to death. Most importantly, prevent them from this conversation._ _Wait, Sara Alice!_

Eleanor cleared her throat.

"Mr. Hill has a little daughter, he is raising her all by himself, I didn't want her to be alone for that long, just so I can get high in Monaco."

"Since when does the princess care about the others?"

"Maybe you don't know me that well at all."

"Oh, trust me, I know you. Besides, there are a plenty of other bodyguards."

 _Fuck, he didn't buy it. Change the topic.  
_

"I don't think you are in a position to complain. You are accompanying a hot princess on a trip to Monaco. Isn't that a hundred times better job than to break fights between drunken losers in a filthy casino?"

"I never said I was complaining, I just simply pointed out that there must be a specific reason why you chose me."

"Do me a favor, and shut your mouth, Jasper. Don't make me regret my decision. "

****JASPER************************************************************************

He was looking out of the window; they were already above the clouds and Eleanor was occupied with her phone. He watched the clouds expanding to the horizon, forming an illusion of a white sea. He wasn't usually one to reminiscent, but he couldn't help but think about the last time he sat on a plane like this. It was just two years ago, but he barely resembled the man he was back then. He may look the same on the outside, but just like these clouds, that are similar to those he saw when he gathered all his money to pursue his plan of stealing the Koh-i-Noor, are completely different.

Back then, he had no idea that he'll discover something way more valuable than all of the jewels in the world combined.

Jasper glanced over at her, _his little diamond in_ _the rough_ , biting her lip as she read something, fully concentrated. And he realized how bizarre it all was, as if all those months without her never even happened. She brought the light into his life once again. And just as easily as she brought it, she could take it away. As much as he loved her, the fear was way greater. He was afraid she'll change her mind and cast him into to darkness. If there was a one thing Jasper hated, it was not having the control. He didn't even know what made her come back for him.

The storm of Jaspers feelings vanished when he heard her snicker, she probably read something funny. The corners of her mouth lifted and her dimples were on a full display.

Something inside of him shifted. At that moment he understood that it doesn't matter if she changes her mind in ten minutes, two months or a year. He'll take whatever he can get.

This realization and her contagious smile, made him want to smile too, but she felt his gaze and when their eyes met, he just turned away back to the clouds.

*****ELEANOR**********************************************************************

"Urgh, my phone died, what am I supposed to do now?" Eleanor whimpered.

"You can do what you always do, get high or drunk, or both," he said, still looking out of the window.

"You are really insufferable sometimes, Jasper. Don't you think I would have done that already if I had something on me?"

Jasper chuckled.

"Amuse me, Jasper," she said cockily, nudging him with her foot.

"What do you want me to do?"

"I don't know, tell me a story or something, but make it interesting."

"I don't have a story that is worth telling. Except, maybe that one about you."

"Oh, C'mon, there must be something, it doesn't have to be a happy story, you know."

"Okay, there is this one I guess… I was seven or six, and I spent a month in…-wait did you hear that?

"Nice try, Jasper."

"No, listen."

Eleanor was about to protest when she heard some muffled sounds.

They turned their heads into the direction of the footsteps.

"Captain, what are you doing here? Is there something wrong?" Elanor asked concerned.

"No, actually everything is going exactly as planned," the captain said and pointed a gun at Eleanor.

She sighed, but before she could even blink, Jasper was standing in front of her forming a human shield.

The man just laughed at Jasper, as he took out his gun.

Suddenly the captain placed his gun to his head.

"Give me your phone, and your gun."

"Or what? you're going to shoot yourself? That's the worst plan I've ever heard," said Eleanor.

"Do as he says," said Jasper.

"But, Jasper!"

"We can't let him kill himself, we are in the middle of the fucking ocean, and he's the only one who knows how to land with this thing."

"At least your bodyguard has a brain, now get away from the Princess or ill kill you as well."

"Do you really expect me to believe that you would spare me? I can see you, I hear your voice, I would be the eyewitness of you killing two innocent women."

"Maybe too smart, bodyguard. "What if we made a deal? I'll give you my word that I won't kill you and you'll forget that this ever happened. "

"Tempting offer, but you would regret that. I would devote my life to finding you, and I would find you. And trust me your fate would be far worse than death itself."

"Sounds like you are more than just a bodyguard."

"What do you want? Money or..?" Eleanor uttered in fear.

"Revenge, your grandmother killed my sister and now I´ll kill her only granddaughter. Eye for an Eye."

"If you want to kill her, you'll have to kill me first. But aim well..because if you miss, it'll be the last thing you do."

"Huh, you know what, that's actually a great idea. I'll kill you first, in front of the lovely princess of yours. Then I´ll imprison her, get the money as her kidnapper and then kill her anyway."

"Sorry, but your plan sucks," Jasper said, pushed Eleanor away as far as he could and attacked him.

Eleanor screamed, hid behind the seats, and covered her eyes with her hands. She heard a gunshot, then another. She was too afraid to open her eyes. When she did, she saw Dominique's brother lying in the pool of blood on the floor and Jasper sitting next to him gasping and …..

"NO, NO, NO, NO, NO! This cannot be happening!"

She crawled to him.

"Jasper!"

She could barely see through her tears.

"Len, Argh.. you have to be strong now, okay? You need to be..go and share your position with the central.. he definitely locked the door to the Arhg, he fainted again. Call for help, save yourself... you have to...-uh."

"We will both save ourselves; you are going to be alright!"

"I'm loosing...too much blood there is no way I'll survive."

"Don't say things like that!" she was now yelling uncontrollably.

"Its okay, at least I was able to make it up to you."

"Don't you die on me, Jasper… You are not allowed to die!"

"That's not how it works, Princess..uhh."

"This is all my fault if I-"

"No, none of this is your fault, I'm glad th... thaa..that you came back for m..me."

" I wanted to make things right again because no matter how bad you hurt me, I love you."

" I love y..ou too, Elea-"

"No, Jasper! Come back, please! Jasper! JASPER!"

*************JASPER*************************************

"Eleanor, wake up! "Can you hear me? I'm here."

Eleanor opened her eyes. There was a pure terror in them.

"Jasper!" she sighed. "You are alright!" Her lips were trembling. He did not see that coming. "Uh, yes I am, shouldn't I be?"

He waved at the flight attendant.

"The princess will have a cup of tea."

"Thank you, that might actually help."

"Did you have a bad dream?"

Eleanor scoffed. "It was a bloody nightmare."

"I'm sorry."

He really wanted to hold her, she seemed so confused and her breathing wasn't calming down.

The flight attendant brought the tea.

"Thank you," Eleanor said.

She nodded and turned around.

"Wait, and I am sorry about earlier… I wasn't in a good mood."

"Its okay, your Highness, you were right, I should've concentrated on my work."

Jasper looked at her amazed.

"Where did that come from?"

"You were right, I can be a bitch sometimes."

"Len, what´s going on?" He placed his hand on her knee and looked her in the eyes concerned.

Tears filled her eyes. She tried to fight them, unsuccessfully.

"That's none of your business, Frost."

She stood up and rushed to the bathroom, leaving Jasper puzzled and concerned.

***********ELEANOR************************

She washed her face, leaving her makeup smudged.

 _Great, I feel like a mess and now I'm actually looking like one._

She heard a knock, and before she could even hesitate, Jasper walked in.

When he saw her face, mascara smeared all over her cheeks, all in tears, shaking..he wanted to hug her, to comfort her so badly, but he didn't. The last thing he wanted was to scare her away.

He was looking at her with his worried eyes.

 _How hard would it be to jump into his arms? To let him calm her down?_ He looked so concerned. _No, she won't let him have the upper hand. Let him know that she needs him too much._

"Look, Eleanor, whatever it is, I can't help you until you tell me. And I want to help you. "

" Jasper,-"

The knocking on the door stopped their conversation.

"Uh, I don't want to interrupt anything but we are landing, you have to return to your seats."

"Of course, thanks," he replied. "Why don't you wash your face quickly and come back."

Eleanor just nodded.

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 **A/N: So, this chapter finally reveals the initial idea behind this fic,(that was teased in the beginning) which is Len having nightmares due to some unresolved feelings of hers. I'm sorry to tease you like that and hope that the twist wasn't too predictable haha. Anyway, let me know what you think about it. :)**


	4. CH4 No rest for the wicked

**A/N: Hi everyone! I'm so glad you liked the whole dream idea. Your kind comments and support mean everything to me, truly.** ❤❤❤ **Keep em comin** **'.**

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When they arrived in Monaco it was really late.

None of them mentioned what happened earlier; they both remained silent during the car ride. Their minds, however, were filled with thoughts.

Jasper knew he was unable to hide his concerns for her but still couldn't believe that he was indeed next to her at all. A part of him was still convinced that he's probably passed out drunk hallucinating.

Eleanor, on the other hand, was hoping that it was everything but a dream and Jasper was really there with her. She wished nothing more than to stay awake and not be alone.

And then it hit her.

Wasn't she just being selfish? She kicked him out of her life, never tried to find him to see how he's doing. Sure, he was on her mind more than often, but that doesn't count. After months of silence, she just wanders into his workplace, is mean to him, gets him fired and without a warning changes the course of his life.

 _I just have to take what I want, don't I? I never stop to ask what others want. What if he's just feeling_ -,

She would have let her thoughts spiral into every possible scenario if the car hadn't stopped.

* * *

Eleanor greeted her brother and excused herself for being tired. She let Jasper carry her stuff into her room and then ordered him to go away. " **Please, talk to me** "was written all over his face but she ignored it.

She took a shower, wrapped a towel around her and took a long look in the mirror. Now, that her face was clean of all makeup, the bags under her eyes were more visible and she looked even thinner than usual. Then with a sigh, she went to the bedroom, looked around, furrowed her eyebrows, clenched her fists and then threw the decorative pillows against the wall one by one. She wanted to scream, to get it all out. But she didn't. She knew he would hear it. Maybe he would even come to check on her.

 _No, I already messed it up on the plane._

She felt exhausted and weak, sank to the floor next to the nightstand and looked at the mess around her.

 _Lies, this room is full of lies._

She always thought of this house as her happy place. Probably because of Beck. But that bastard wasn't the one who ruined this place for her. This place was never anything more than another distraction in her empty life, to begin with. That's all she ever did, wandered from one empty place to another, surrendered herself with strange, temporary people, made fake promises just to avoid what she didn't want to admit.

 _Its time to face it, the truth is that I am just a useless, lonely human being, who lets down and hurts people she loves._

She rummaged through the drawer next to her looking for cigarettes when she found something else. It was a photograph. Eleanor wiped the tears from her face and smiled. It showed Liam, who was laughing his arse off next to the pool with Robbie, and her getting out of the pool, looking very angry in her pink crop top with a cartoon watermelon and green bikini underneath it.

She remembered that day, she remembered that t-shirt. She was drinking a cocktail or something still not over some fight they have had…. and ignored her brothers until they snatched her and threw her into the pool. But then Beck brought her a towel, flashed his smile at her, and she instantly forgot everything else.

 _Maybe not everything about this place was fake._

She wondered how many forgotten memories this place held.

************JASPER*****************************************************

Liam was waiting for Len to arrive, he was so surprised when he saw Jasper and wanted to catch up immediately, but Jasper was a little bit tired too himself and kindly refused to go party with him, promising they would talk tomorrow.

After he escorted Eleanor and her luggage to her room, he sat on the bed and blankly stared at the door.

Just yesterday, he drank in his small, cheap apartment, where the faucet leaked and the washing machine worked only when it felt like working.

Now, he was sitting on a mattress that cost more than all his furniture combined. White walls and luxurious, brown, silky curtains.

What was he even doing in a place like this? He didn't belong there.

But that was the thing about Eleanor... when he was with her; he felt like he belonged with her and everything around was just an unimportant blur.

Jasper closed his eyes, not even bothering to change his clothes or close the window.

All of his thoughts and everything else could wait until tomorrow.

****ELEANOR****************************************

She heard laughter, but couldn't see a thing in the dark of the tunnels.

"Is anybody here?" She shouted just to hear nothing in response.

Someone covered her mouth with a hand and pressed a gun against her back.

Eleanor shivered and tried to bite the person.

The person made a painful sound and let go of her mouth, she tried to scream her lungs out.

"You can scream as loud as you want, no one is going to hear you here."

Her body was filled with fear and anger after hearing Ted's voice.

He pushed her, and her little body hit the cold floor. Ted tied her hands and dragged her further into the darkness.

He turned on the lights only to uncover the worst sight there could be.

Eleanor's mother, the Queen was lying on the floor, next to her brother, uncle, and Jasper showing no signs of breathing.

She kneeled to him."What did you do to them?!" She cried out.

"Only what they deserved, but don't you worry, you'll be joining them quite soon."

Eleanor wanted to shake with Jasper, or at least touch his face but with her hands tied so tightly, it was impossible.

"But why Jasper? He isn't even a member of the royal family!"

"That is the price you pay when you know too much. "

He smirked and pressed the trigger.

"No!" she woke up crying again. Still clutching the photograph, she must have fallen asleep on the floor.

 _Is this never going to stop?_

She needed someone to hold her so badly. And he was just a few rooms away. She was still afraid, trying to shake away those terrible images from her head. Her need for comfort was bigger than her pride. She stood up, walked through the long hallway and stopped at his door.

Eleanor exhaled, her hands were shaking as she knocked gently on the door: "Jasper?"

She knocked again a little louder this time. Nothing. She opened the door, expecting to see him sleeping, but his bed was unmade and empty.

He was gone, _again_.

* * *

 **A/N: Where the hell did Jasper go? I felt like a little cliffhanger was in order haha. Speaking of cliffhangers, do you think that Jaspenor will get married in the finale? Will there be another season of The Royals? Let me know your opinions and guesses** ❤❤❤.


	5. CH5 You're my Dead Sea

**A/N: Hi there! I'm back with a longer chapter containing some Jaspenor breakthroughs. Also, I'm very glad that the finale left Jaspenor in a good place, relationship-wise. I really do hope we'll get season 5. Make sure you use the** #RenewTheRoyals **tag** **on social media, there's still a chance! Plus, I really love each one of you who took their time to leave a comment, as cheesy as it sounds, they really do bring a smile to my face.**

 **The name of this chapter was inspired by the song "Dead Sea" by the Lumineers, I hope you'll like it.**

 _"_ **I'm like the dead sea, you'll never sink when you are with me. Honey, can't you see I was born to be, be your dead sea."**

* * *

Where the bloody hell is he? Her mind was already jumping to conclusions. Uncomfortable feelings and anxiety were spreading through her entire body. Without further thinking, she rushed to her brother's room, only to discover that it was empty too. She looked around frantically and locked the door in utter fear.

She kept pressing the palms of her hands against her temples.

 _No, no, no, NO! This can't_ _be, I have to wake up. It's just another dream, I have to wake up before it happens again!_

Eleanor almost pinched herself again when she heard laughter.

She tiptoed closer to the balcony and carefully peeked down, to her surprise she saw Liam and Jasper sitting outside next to the pool, their faces illuminated by the big candle on the table, probably to scare away the mosquitos. They were sharing cans of beer and enjoying each others company. She felt a huge relief, but also a suspicion, it was pretty late. She leaned over just enough to listen to their conversation without being spotted.

"And then he told me to fuck off."

"Well, someone had to," Jasper laughed.

"I'm glad you're back, Jasper."

"Me too, although I'm not very sure, why I am back."

"I think it is kind of obvious," he said and gulped his beer.

"Is it? I feel like there is something off about her. Haven't you noticed …-"

"I wouldn't know, she isn't letting anyone in much, It's been like that ever since the King's cup. I figured that she just needs some time, after what happened and with you leaving. She spends most of her time alone, she doesn't even party anymore."

"I don't think this is about the Kings cup, nor about me, but she won't say anything," Jasper admitted.

Liam opened a new can, drank from it, looked to the ground and after a small pause continued: "When we were kids, my father would play hide and seek in the palace with us. Those are one of my fondest memories of him. Although I was terrible at it, I had a lot of fun. My brother, on the other hand, was very good at it, but not as good as Lenny. She has been always good at hiding herself away. You couldn't find her unless she wanted you to. My advice is, wait until she's ready to tell us."

Her brother's words made Eleanor realize how selfish she has been these last months, not only she grew distant but also never stopped to consider that Jasper and Liam became good friends on the way. She once again admired her brother's patience and understanding. He really did put everyone first.

She shivered when the cold breeze ran through her skin. Then decided to go back inside. But the thought of going back to her room terrified her to the bone.

*************JASPER*********************************************************

Jasper was having the weirdest dream, but a knock on his door brought him back to reality.

It was Liam, he just came back from wherever he has been. Next thing he knew, he was with him outside drinking beer. He really missed that, just talking to someone who understood his situation and knew him. Jaspers's never had any real friends he could count on and Liam was never able to trust someone enough to know, whether they befriended him for him or because of his status. They were a perfectly screwed up match. Sometimes Jasper even forgot that Liam and Eleanor were twins, they were both so different, yet there were certain similarities he couldn't help but notice.

Jasper was heading back to his room when he found her sitting on the floor in the hallway; she seemed so small and fragile. Her chin was resting on her knees that she was hugging tightly with both hands. Her face looked absent-minded.

"Eleanor?"

She looked at him without a word.

He couldn't see her eyes properly in the dark, but he felt that she was scared. He sat down next to her and was just about to say something when she stopped him.

"Shut up, Jasper…I'm fine."

"Yeah, I can see that."

She just sighed at his irony and let her head fall back to her knees.

There was a moment of silence. That kind of loud silence, when you know that the other person is trying to find the right words as well.

 _Well, man up Frost, if there ever was a time to be honest... it's now._

"I did," he whispered out of nowhere.

"What? Eleanor said perplexed.

"At the casino, you asked me if I missed you... and I have and I do miss you, every day, every night, all the damn time. I walk by the newspaper stands, I watch the television, check my phone you are everywhere. I think about you, I replay the memories. I wonder what would have happened if did something differently.

"Why did you run away when you saw me?"

"I was working and thinking about the things I would tell you if I ever got the chance. I know it sounds pathetic but I never thought I would see you again. And there you were in that casino. Just like that. I thought I was going crazy. But it was really you, and I got scared that seeing me would upset you. Never in the wildest dreams would I think that not only it wasn't a coincidence, but you intentionally came there to see me. "

She was sitting so close to him. He could feel the warmth of her body. If she had tilted her head an inch she could be resting on his shoulder.

"Look, if you haven't told Liam, I am pretty sure you won't tell me either. But you need to tell someone; otherwise, it will eat you up alive. You look very tired, why don't you go to sleep and-"

"No! I can't, not anymore. I'm too scared."

"Of what?"

" Every time I close my eyes something terrible happens."

Now that her face was so close to him and his eyes more adjusted to the dark, he could see it and recognized that same terrified look in her eyes, the one she had on the plane earlier.

Before could react, she stood up and stormed off to her room.

By the time Jasper came to his senses, Eleanor was gone. He only heard the gentle slam of the massive doors.

* * *

**********ELEANOR****************

The music was loud, people were splashing the water in the pool. Everyone was laughing, drinking and having a good time. Except for Eleanor. She was sitting inside in her glittery party dress, unable to bring herself to join them.

She was too tired, all those sleepless nights have been taking a toll on her. She needed to rest, and although she knew it would alarm her brother and possibly Jasper, she ended up spending the whole day in her room. But it was almost evening and she decided it would be best if she just got dressed and at least showed up.

The sun was already setting down and a single ray of light, that sneaked into her room while the gentle breeze played with the curtains, reflected the colors of a rainbow that were now dancing on the wall as it found the way to the glitters on her dress. She stared at that and tried her hardest not to move. She felt like if she moved even an inch, the light and the glitters wouldn't align and the colors would be gone. And she was right, Eleanor was so lost in her thoughts that the knock on the door startled her and as she flinched the ray of light moved to her hand and the rainbow disappeared leaving the wall plain again.

"Are you all right, Princess?" The familiar voice asked.

"Define alright."

"May I come in?" Jasper asked

"As if you ever asked for a permission," Eleanor muttered.

Jasper walked in, he was wearing a plain grey t-shirt and jeans, the outfit was simple but he looked good... more than good if you asked her.

"You didn't seem to mind then," he said a bit annoyed.

 _Sarcasm, great one Len, a way to go! I really need to turn this conversation around._

"Well, you always found a great way to make up for your rude interruptions, that I must admit."

Jasper smiled.

 _Better_

"Aren't you hungry? There's barbecue outside-"

"No, thanks, I'm not hungry."

"Alright, but I mean you've gotta eat something-"

"I said, I'm not hungry," Eleanor interrupted him.

"Well then... why don't you just come down to the party? I'm sure everyone wants to see you."

"Don't you get it, Jasper? All these pointless parties, they used to help me get through the day. It distracted me. Now, they are only a reminder of how much my life sucks."

"Well, you cant run away from things forever, at some point you have to face them."

"You know, that would be actually worth something if it wasn't coming from you, Jasper."

Eleanor didn't want to be mean to him, she really didn't. But she was feeling exhausted, frustrated and guilty... he was just an easy target. She wanted to tell him, that's it is not his fault, that it wasn't anything he has said, but she just kept quiet.

Jasper was definitely confused by the sudden shift in her mood, but he knew there was something else on the table, so he tried not to take it personally.

 _Silence, again. Please, Jasper, say something._

"Come with me, " he stated and took her by her hand.

"Where are you going...the party is here.."

"We are not going to the party."

"Are you messing with me? Jasper, where are we going?"

"Away."

* * *

**********ELEANOR****************

They were sitting on the ground. Jasper gave ger his hoodie because it was getting colder. They were alone and the only noises breaking the silence were the seagulls and the swooshing sound of waves.

Eleanor's eyes were focused, her face looked intense. She was staring into nothing, but it seemed like she knew exactly what she's looking at.

"I am tired, she stated."

"We can go back-"

"I didn't mean right now, I'm tired all the time."

"Physically or mentally?"

"Both and you were right, I can't go on like this forever."

"You are having nightmares, aren't you?"

"Yes, and it's eating me alive."

"I know how that feels."

"So, how do I make it go away?"

"What, the nightmares or the guilt?"

She looked at him with a shocked reaction.

 _Of course, it had to be him, Him out of all the people. But she had to admit it, this guy always saw right through her._

"You don't, but it gets better with time."

"Maybe I deserve this. I was a shitty daughter, a terrible sister; even the bloody England deserves a better Princess, not some screwed up shitshow. I let people down constantly. I'm not good at anything. I am just a mess."

"The life you've been living is insane. None of those people who judge you know how hard it is to be a public figure, known in the entire world. Everyone's been pressuring you since the day you were born. There were expectations and your life was already planned. But they didn't count on one thing, that you have your own voice, and fire. That you want to have a say in who you wanna be. But no matter what you do or wear, no matter how you riot Eleanor, you are _the Princess_. People look up to you. I'm not saying that you should be a robot following the protocol. Just try to find a way to give your life a meaning. Stop trying to run away from a part of you, don't fight it, use it."

"Where do I even start?"

"You've already started."

"How?"

"Well, I have been with you for only a day and something, but you haven't touched any drugs. That's a start."

"Maybe."

There was a short pause and Eleanor just dug her fingernails into to the sand trying to avoid eye contact.

"Eleanor?"

"Yes?"

"When we were on that plane…-"

She sighed.

"I had a dream that the captain was Dominique's brother. It was terrible…. he killed the flight attendant and eventually you as well… there was blood everywhere. You died because of me because you wanted to protect me. The worst part is Jasper, that despite all that shit we've been through... I believe that you would actually do that for me," she said with her eyes glued to the sand.

He gently laid his hand on hers which made her look up.

"You know I would."

She was staring into his eyes and felt his sincerity. She tried to fight the tears, but it was too much.

"There was another one, where Ted killed everyone, including you. He killed you because you got too close. You knew too much. He wouldn't have done that if you weren't determined to find our fathers killer. To show me that you care. "

And in the other one. At this point, her face was soaked with tears. They made me choose to shoot you or Liam. Otherwise, they would shoot all of us. And you took the gun.. and .. you shot yourself. So I didn't have to decide or this one where..- she gasped."

"Hey, hey, look, I'm here, I'm fine. I'm not that easy to kill and trust me, people have tried."

Jasper embraced her, and she just let go, a part of her hated herself for sobbing like this in his arms. But it felt so good to get it out of her chest, especially when he held her so tightly. She could hear his heartbeat as she clutched a piece of his t-shirt, it calmed her down. His head was buried in her hair, his hand gently stroking her back.

They stayed like that for a while, and suddenly the silence wasn't that unbearable.

"You said that you know how it feels like. What kind of nightmares do you have?" She asked and looked up. She knew her eyes were basically pleading him to never let go of her, but she didn't even care anymore.

"I've done things that I'm not very proud of, you out of all the people should know, and ill regret them till I die. Those and other memories are haunting me. I..I stole from and hurt people, I even took a life. Just to prove that I can do better. To prove, that I am not like my parents. But I am. I may be a better grifter, but I am garbage of a person, a rat just like they are."

"We do crazy things, to prove stupid points, to people we hate. None of it matters, but before you find out its already too late," she yawned at the end of the sentence. "Just like you said, we all have shit we gotta live with."

After a while, he noticed that Eleanor was already asleep. He took her gently into his arms and carried her back to the house.

The party was already over, but some of the people were passed out drunk, sleeping next to the pool. He went inside, put her on her bed, wrapped her up in a blanket and lay down beside her. Then, he gently removed her hair from the forehead to get a better look at her face. She seemed relaxed. He showed himself closer to her. It's been so long since the last time he laid next to her. His heart raced fast. Everyone, including him, bought that tough girl exterior of hers. If only they could see what he sees now. A beautiful young woman who looked so fragile and lost.

"Goodnight, My Princess," he whispered and closed his eyes.

* * *

 **A/N: So, how did you like their little trip to the beach? Also, who noticed the** **Narnia reference? And of course, I wanna know your thoughts on the finale, are you pro Rillow or against? See ya soon xx**


	6. CH6 The crack in the Hourglass

**A/N: Hi, I hope that wherever you are and whatever you are doing, your summer started off great. As for the fate of the show is still pretty much unknown, we can just hope for the best, and if this fic is cheering you up in the meantime, that is all I need, Enjoy!** ❤❤❤

 **PS: Thanks for pushing me Anon and Loels1,** **I had so much going on I probably wouldn't post another chapter if it wasn't for you, in the end, it is only worth it if you know that someone actually wants to read it, haha.**

* * *

Eleanor opened her eyes when the light became too bright. Her first instinct was to cover them with her hands, and as soon as she did and dimed the light, she allowed her other sense to take the charge. In that second, her ears draw her attention to a little vibrating sound. It was a heartbeat. Slow and a steady one.

She realized that her head was resting on a chest. The chest that belonged to none other than Jasper Frost. She slowly removed her hand from her eyes, tilted her head and looked up, he was sound asleep. The usually tense and skeptic Jasper Frost looked so calm, so carefree.

She wanted to kiss him right there. She actually had to bite her lip to not to. They never really had that "kiss in the morning" kind of relationship anyway, no, it was always about the power. But it felt different this time. Because It wasn't just that radiating warmth of his body, that made her feel so safe. Or how handsome he looked, even with his hair messy like that. It was how he made her feel. For the first time in ages, she got some sleep. She wasn't sure if it was due the fact that she actually talked about her issues or it was his presence itself that made it possible. Of course, it'd be foolish to think that he was the solution to all of her problems. He wasn't, but with him, her troubles didn't look so terrifying, he would help her face them and she'll do the same.

Eleanor had no clue what to expect, the only thing she knew, was that there wasn't a place in the world where she would rather be than in his arms, no matter how pathetic or cheesy it sounded. It felt so right. She knew right and then, what she knew all along deep inside; she wanted him to stay in her life.

Of course, she can't let him know that.

 _Step number one: I have to be gone when he wakes up. I can't just give in too easily. No rushing into things anymore. We have all the time in the world to make it right this time._

Although it was hard, she managed to leave his embrace without waking him up. She quickly put on her shoes, allowing herself one last gaze at her sleeping bodyguard, and headed to the kitchen.

* * *

"Well, well, well. Who is it I see?"

"Enough Liam."

"I was looking for you yesterday, you just disappeared."

"Sorry, I should've said something, but you were having a good time..."

"I have a feeling that I wasn't the only one having a great time, it's been a while since I saw a smile on your face. I assume things went well between you and Jasper last night? He winked.

"Nothing happened between us last night," Eleanor said as she poured herself a cup of tea.

 _Well maybe something, she thought. Those moments that they shared were something really rare when it came to Jasper. Eleanor wasn't used to this kind of intimacy with him. He was always a closed book, till yesterday._

"That's a pity; I was hoping that you two can finally work it out," said Liam unable to hide his disappointment.

"Who needs to work what out?"

Jasper walked through the door, looking still a bit sleepy.

Eleanor stabbed her twin with her eyes.

"Uhhh, I was just telling Eleanor that she should finally forgive….uhm…eh... our… uh… mum! You know, for…. for forging those tests."

"Yeees, and I was trying to explain to Liam, that … no matter how much she means to me, what she's done was wrong... and...and it weakened my trust in her."

"But heshhh... she.. she is trying; … uh…she really cares about you, Len, us, I mean she cares about us."

"She used me, uhm us, for her sneaky plans."

"Yes, but _she_ did the right thing eventually, didn't she?"

"All I'm saying is that _she_ should show a bit more effort first."

Jasper just watched Liam struggle with a confused expression.

"I am just not sure if I can completely trust her. What if _she_ does something like that again?" Eleanor continued.

" _She_ won't, she has learned from her mistakes. She knows that if she screws this up, she won't get another chance."

"Okay, enough, this conversation is really weird, especially for the morning, but I am with Liam on this one. The queen sure is a very complicated, manipulative woman and everything. But she's your mother. I know she's been terrible to you, for most of your life, but she loves you and she would do anything for you," said Jasper.

Liam couldn't help but chuckle triumphantly but rather refrained from looking at his sister and pretended he's busy with turning his phone on.

"Sometimes I really hate that you two get along so well," sighed Eleanor.

"And I-"

Liam's phone started buzzing so loud that it almost fell down from the counter. Not few, but hundreds of notifications, texts, and missed calls.

"Whoa Liam, easy on that social networking," Eleanor joked.

His face went blank.

"Liam?"

He just stood up silently, took the remote control and turned on the TV.

The news splashed on them like a tsunami. Eleanor dropped the cup she was holding; it hit the floor with smashing after she read the caption and heard a young brunette reporter announce the joyful news.

"The entire England and world are celebrating the greatest news. Yesterday, a miracle has occurred. His Royal Highness Prince Robert Henstridge, we mourned after, was found alive on a deserted island by the marines.

Liam switched the channel. The headlines were everywhere: _Prince Robert Alive; A Royal Miracle; Robinson Henstridge The beloved heir to the throne is back from the dead_ _;_ _England celebrates a resurrection; A new king of England?_

* * *

 **A/N: I know, this chap was a short one... especially after the long wait but I feel that it covered all that it was supposed to.**

 **Now, this is the furthest the story goes in my drafts, but I do have some ideas how it could continue... Let me know in the comments below if you want the story to go on, or if I should just write an epilogue.**

 **Thank you for reading,** **reviewing** **, favoriting, following, coming back and showing an interest in this story, you are the** **greatest.**

 **can't wait to hear from you, see ya soon xx**


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